Confession: I was supposed to file this column yesterday, but a 4 a.m. epiphany after an all-nighter led to a bit of soul-searching (and a serious caffeine deficit).
Turns out, being a chronic people-pleaser tends to wreak havoc on deadlines. The upside? It makes for a pretty fitting topic when you’ve missed a deadline because you’re too busy doing other people’s stuff, so let’s call it a happy accident.
I’ve been the queen of saying “yes” for many years; twisting myself into pretzels to meet others’ expectations. The result? A life that looked great on paper but felt like wearing someone else’s ill-fitting shoes.
Here’s the kicker: saying “yes” to everything and everyone is a lot easier when you haven’t a clue what you actually want.
Without a clear vision, every request seems reasonable. “Absolutely! I’d love to organise your cat’s birthday party while simultaneously mediating a peace treaty between your goldfish” We become human Jenga towers, piling on responsibilities until the inevitable collapse or, as I did yesterday, letting you down for the first time since we started Monday Musings in the first year of COVID.
Who am I kidding? Perhaps you haven’t even read up to this point…
Now, if you are reading this while your calendar looks like a game of Tetris gone wrong, breathe. This isn’t about shame – that’s just another dance partner we need to ditch. It’s about recognising that people-pleasing is a habit, not a personality trait.
It’s about understanding that sometimes putting your own needs first isn’t selfish, it’s self-preservation. It’s about making choices that align with your values, even if it means stepping off the dance floor from time to time.
To anyone feeling like their life’s car is veering off-road because they’ve been following everyone else’s GPS: it’s time to recalibrate. Give yourself the grace to pause, reassess, and maybe even make a U-turn. You might even make the next Monday Musings deadline.
Remember, living authentically isn’t about perfection. It’s about gradually aligning your actions with your values, one step at a time. Remembering that today’s decision needs to be kind to tomorrow’s Natalia.
I can’t start this week by asking the world not to be disappointed if I lace up my tekkies to do the “You Do You” dance and to hell with it, but I have a feeling my authentic self has some killer moves. May I learn how to use them…
Mindful Musings
What the world was musing over this past week
Move over, boys club. The lionesses are on patrol
Female rangers are storming the savanna, armed with radios and sass. Join us in celebrating these wonder women this week during Female Ranger Week.
Parisian poop protest: Seine-sational splash planned for Olympics
Angry locals threaten to turn the Seine into a giant toilet bowl. Mayor’s swim delayed, but protestors still ready to make a stink. Olympic Committee now considering nose clips.
Doggone ugly Pekingese wins world title
Canine distemper survivor shows true beauty is on the inside… where no one can see it. Supermodels, watch out!
Ginger snaps: Sheeran Double finds ‘Perfect’ match
Ed clone ties knot with superfan, surrunded by faux famous faces.
