A series called Better Off Ted came out in 2009. Like an off-the-wall version of The Office, it follows R&D Director Ted, his driven and slightly sadistic supervisor (Portia de Rossi), and their oddball team at the kind of ubiquitous company that’s all too common these days. You know the type – no one really knows what these companies do, but they could be (read: probably are) destroying the world.
Their company creates everything from weaponised pumpkins to office chairs that are so uncomfortable they drive employee productivity (employees literally can’t sit back and relax).
But my favourite product has to be Project Jabberwocky. An innovative, dynamic solution that would revolutionise the world. The catch? It wasn’t a real project – a team member dropped the ball, so they had to create an illusion to hide the fact there was no product at all.
Ted and his supervisor deliver a presentation of Project Jabberwocky Silicone-Valley-style to buyers, which is essentially a load of business jargon, hyperbolic terms, stock images, and flamethrowers (do yourself a favour and watch it here).
And because none of the buyers want to appear like they don’t know what’s going on, the project is a huge success and sold at a high sum to another company.
Why the recap of a noughties show? Three words. AI language model.
Left to its own devices, AI pulls off the perfect Project Jabberwocky. It’s an expert in jargon and creating the illusion of effective communication. It can say nothing in 1,000 words. It loves words like “innovative”, “revolutionise”, and my absolute worst – “vibrant tapestry”.
Reading this kind of writing makes my eyes glaze over. I start thinking about what’s for supper – not the words on the page.
We’ve forgotten that writing is about connecting with people. Today, so much is written for the sake of creating content instead of writing something people will want to read.
We ask ourselves, “What does a press release/social media blurb/blog sound like?” using AI to string together words and sentence structures that fit that template. The result? Project Jabberwocky.
We should be asking ourselves – “Would I want to read this? What message am I trying to communicate?”
The most important thing is giving substance and doing it simply, not providing a paragraph of words that leave your audience going, “What is it, though?”.
If all else fails, here are a few words AI has murdered. Please avoid like the plague:
Vibrant tapestry
Thrilling
Dynamic
Innovative
Revolutionary
Mindful Musings
What the world was musing over this past week
Copenhagen carrot approach
Instead of implementing fines, fees, and water gun protests (like in Spain), Copenhagen is rewarding tourists who behave themselves.
All by myself
This couple found themselves to be the only guests at a five-star resort – and it wasn’t fun.
Goats don’t make good guides
A sadistic goat is part of Viator’s new advertising campaign, and it’s hilarious.
Don’t go wasting
Explore these zero-waste recipes that prove you can have your apple and eat it, too! Yum.
