I often gush over my dog Lucy’s cuteness and her ‘scrunchy puppy face’. The way her skin wrinkles a little by her muzzle is adorable. But, while applying makeup the other day, I realised that I, too, am developing a scrunchy puppy face. Putting on eyeliner was akin to dragging a crayon over tissue paper, and I was not impressed.
When did this happen??? Only a few years ago, I was eating quality streets with my bestie in the movie theatre, wearing grungy flared jeans, on holiday with my pen pal – we became friends over email when you still had to listen to the dial-up tone for five hours.
I did the maths and reached for a strong cup of coffee when I realised that was 22 years ago.
But I should have known; there have been other signs. Young, dewy-skinned people are wearing moon bags across their chests. There are a growing number of sticker-collection-type tattoos. And… the language. Read on if you dare (mind the age gap).
I asked Gemini to write me a sentence with current slang:
No cap, your outfit is snatched to the max – those vintage sneakers are bussin’, and only a cheugy* person wouldn’t recognise your GOAT-level fit, IYKYK.
*Pronounced CHOO-gee (gee as in ‘gee whizz’)
What I think it means:
- You forgot your cap (the kind you wear on your head).
- Your outfit got stolen… perhaps with your granny’s takkies on the bus.
- Did you say Fugi person? Easy! Someone who loves Fujifilm cameras.
- You’re in great physical form, as fit as a mountain goat.
- Y2K, the year 2000.
What it actually means:
- No cap: No lies. I’m telling you the truth.
- Snatched: Perfectly styled.
- To the max: To the highest degree possible.
- Bussin: Fantastic or excellent.
- A cheugy person: Someone who is unaware of their own outdatedness. They like things that were popular in the past (especially the 2010s) but are now considered outdated or unfashionable, e.g., ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ signs and phrases like ‘adulting’.
- GOAT-level fit: GOAT stands for Greatest Of All Time, and fit is short for outfit, so an ensemble for the ages.
- IYKYK: Stands for If You Know You Know.
In summary: Your outfit is very nice, your sneakers are fantastic, and anyone over 30 has no idea what style is.
Thanks Gemini. I officially feel old.
To be honest, feeling old isn’t that bad. It’s pretty ‘bussin’ when you’re no longer just learning from those older and wiser than you but from those dewy-skinned young’uns, too. And ironically, don’t you feel younger when you learn something new?
Plus, you acquire more ‘I don’t care what people think of me’ every year and rights to the priority queue.
So here’s to embracing the wrinkles, saying ‘adulting’ even though it’s ‘cheugy’, and scrunchy puppy face.
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Beetlejuice fans, behold!
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